“Next please.” Julie didn’t raise her eyes from the familiar black rubber conveyor as she automatically greeted the customer. “How are you today.” It wasn’t even a question. Her voice was deadpan and her eyes were blank.
“A lot
better than you, obviously.”
Julie
started and looked up quickly at the speaker whose devastatingly familiar voice
made her heart begin to race. It was over a month now since she had seen Daniel Martin but she noticed with dismay that he still had the same effect upon her.
Time and grief hadn’t cured her fancy. Right now his face was split into a wide
cheeky smile, showing perfectly even white teeth, but as usual it wasn’t his
mouth that had her lost for words. His deep cornflour blue eyes held hers for
what seemed like minutes together before her flustered brain could construct an
appropriate sentence. She looked quickly down, tucked a stray lock of blonde
hair behind her ear and began to scan his groceries across the register. The
regular bleep bleep helped to steady her galloping heart.
“Oh I’ve
just been really busy today,” she managed, in answer to his comment.
“I’m not
surprised.” Something in his tone made her look at him again with a question in
her eyes. “Well,” he explained “I expect yours is the most popular checkout.
Personally I like the view.” Was it just her imagination or did his cheeks
colour slightly as he said this?
‘Flirt,’
Julie thought and tried to be annoyed but one look into those laughing blue
eyes and her resolve had melted away. “That will be $52.50,” she said, unable
to think of a comeback. He smiled again and handed her his credit card. She
watched his slim masculine hand sign the little slip of paper with a flourish
and caught his eyes as he handed it back to her.
“Well, I’ll
see you next time.” He gathered up the two plastic shopping bags with a strong
easy grace and stepped away towards the door.
“Yes you
will,” she said and felt herself flush to the hair line with embarrassment at
her own boldness. What was a girl like her doing flirting with a man like him?
She shook her head, tucked her hair behind her ear again and turned her
attention back to her work.
“Next
please.”
As Daniel Martin left the supermarket he was internally berating himself for his lack of
discipline. What a self-assured creep she must think he was, throwing around
pick-up lines like any guy on a Saturday night. He had meant to start up a
serious conversation with her in the hope of asking her out on a date but at
the last minute he’d chickened out and taken the easy option. What was it about
Julie that caused him so much anxiety? She was very attractive, but he knew
that wasn’t the only reason. He knew plenty of slim pretty girls with straight
blonde hair and dark brown eyes; classy girls with big careers and lots of
money. Somehow Julie was different. ‘Was it novelty?’ he asked himself. No, it
wasn’t novelty. He saw a depth of feeling in her that he couldn’t find in the
other girls, and an honesty. Polished conversations and fake self-esteem bored
him. This girl couldn’t hide her feelings and he liked that, so why did he
hesitate to ask her out?
Daniel had
reached his car, a black Mercedes convertible, and as he activated the lock he
realised the car was some of the problem. One look at it and she would probably
dismiss him as a poser, a rich kid, or worse. He had toyed with the idea of
hiring an ordinary sedan but that wasn’t the answer. He was what he was and he
couldn’t lie to her, any more than she could lie about the fact that she worked
six days on the supermarket check-out and lived in a depressed area of the
city. He had seen her getting on the train after work and knew the direction in
which she lived, almost the opposite end of town to him … but still he couldn’t
get her off his mind.
*****
There
seemed to be no one in the room except the two of them in their cosy little
pool of candle light. Julie had to hand it to him, Daniel knew how to make a
proposal sound attractive. She was warm and relaxed, thanks to two glasses of
expensive white wine, and she could feel the electric heat of Daniel’s trouser
clad leg pressed up against her bare knee. Only their fourth official date and
already he was sitting there, leaning forward slightly with flushed face and
bright eyes and a little black velvet box open between them. Julie noticed the
name of the exclusive inner city jeweller stamped in gold on the white satin.
He had spared no expense, and he seemed in earnest, yet she couldn’t believe it
and she couldn’t bring herself to say yes. The question hung like some fragrant
perfume above the still candle flame. Julie took a deep breath and the flame
guttered.
“I’m
sorry,” she said, her voice sounding loud and harsh in her own ears. “I can’t
accept.”
Her answer
left him speechless for a moment and his blue eyes registered pain and concern.
She had expected him to go cold and sit back in his seat but his candid
disappointment made her want to reach forward and take his hands. ‘It’s not
you, it’s me,’ she wanted to say. ‘You don’t know the full story. You don’t
understand.’ But she sat silent, not trusting her voice and not wanting to give
too much away. If she did tell him about her father, and her mother, and the
enormous debt, she knew what he’d say. He’d say it didn’t matter, he’d marry
her anyway and pay the debt himself but she couldn’t ask it of him. And she was
afraid that he would regret his generosity. Later he would, when his first
attraction had faded and he was stuck with a useless, destitute wife. The
novelty would wear off she felt sure and she wanted to spare them both that pain.
Daniel felt
stunned. It wasn’t so much that she had said no – he had not expected a yes
straight away. They had only been on a few dates but each time he had found
himself captivated by her beauty and kindness, not to mention the sparkling
electricity that leapt up between them whenever they stood close. Although she
was not a person who spoke a lot, particularly about herself; what she said was
always sincere and often revealed a gentle humour that caught him by surprise.
Even after such a short time he had little doubt about his own feelings. Could
he have misjudged hers so completely? Her answer was so final and she sat there
with her warm brown eyes looking into his, seemingly without a flicker of
uncertainty.
“I know
it’s probably too soon,” he explained, “but I want you to know I’m serious
about you, about us. If you want me to wait and ask you again in a few months,
then I will. I don’t want to rush you but I don’t want to loose you either.”
She looked
down then in obvious confusion, her blonde hair falling over her cheeks and
hiding her expression. “Daniel,” she said quietly, “there are things you don’t
know …” her voice trailed away, and she looked up with the first hint of tears
at the corners of her lovely eyes. “The answer’s still no. Please don’t ask me
again.”
The
finality of that plea silenced him and though he longed to argue the point with
her, he could see she was too upset. He reached forward and carefully slid the
little box back into his pocket, then took her limp hand in his and gave it a
gentle squeeze. “I’ll take you home,” he said softly as he motioned to the
waiter with his free hand. She nodded dumbly, keeping her face averted, and
when he had paid the bill she rose quietly with him and let him lead her from
the restaurant.
*****
Daniel
stood for a moment with his back to the driver’s door of the Mercedes,
fingering the little black velvet box. The envelope in his jacket pocket felt
heavy against his chest. Should he ask again, or should he simply deliver the
letter to her and walk away? The conversations they had had over the past few
months had given him little cause to hope for a more positive answer, and yet
he knew that their attraction was as fierce as ever. A more steady friendship
had begun to develop too, which he had taken great pains not to upset by asking
her out on a romantic date. He still sensed her confusion, and yet a new trust
in him as well. If she turned him down now then he couldn’t ask again. Maybe he
should wait … Daniel turned and gazed up at the grey concrete building with its
garish red and yellow signs. In his pocket was, potentially, her ticket to
freedom from the drudgery of her present life. If she knew she was freed of
that, then would she feel she could accept him? He closed his fist around the
little velvet box and started towards the supermarket doors, resolved in his
heart what he would do.
As soon as Daniel’s familiar figure appeared around the corner of the building Julie saw
him. He usually dropped in on a Thursday afternoon so that he could spend her
break with her before she started the evening shift. For the past hour she had
had one eye on the double glass doors as she scanned groceries over the
register and rang up the change. She knew he always arrived around the same
time but today she had something urgent she wanted to say to him. As she
watched him approach her heart leapt unevenly in her chest and her stomach
began to churn. For the umpteenth time she considered saying nothing and just
letting their relationship go on as it had been, but deep down she knew that
she couldn’t. It would be wrong, deceitful even, and Daniel had been so good to
her. Her love for him had grown until she felt she could no longer keep the
truth from him, and she could no longer live in limbo. Not two hours after she
had turned him down the first time she would have given anything to have
another opportunity to accept. The fact that he had called her and continued
their relationship was more than she had hoped for. Now she must do the right
thing by him, no matter what it cost her, and it would cost her dearly if she
lost him again.
The glass
doors swung open and Daniel stepped inside, automatically looking in her
direction to see if he could catch her eye. He did, and she smiled warmly
before turning her attention back to the register. Not wanting to make a fuss,
he slipped through the turnstiles and grabbed a bottle of milk to take with him
so that his visit would look legitimate. As he joined the end of the queue she
passed the Closed sign down to him so that he would be her last customer before
she signed off. She was looking particularly pretty tonight he noticed, with an
excited sparkle in her eyes and a rosiness about her cheeks. She was also chewing
her bottom lip fiercely which had made her mouth look plump and terribly
kissable. He tried to turn his attention to the uninteresting black rubber
conveyor and his mind to the envelope in his pocket but nothing was working.
His eyes kept sliding in her direction.
At long
last Daniel was standing in front of her, but she hardly dared to look up at
him, feeling sure that her face was overheated and flushed. The milk bleeped
over the register, but there was more than one thing tonight. A fat envelope
also lay on the conveyor. As she reached for it and tore it open her heart was
sinking fast. She was sure that it contained a letter from him that would end
their friendship. What else would he choose to put in writing rather than
telling her directly? Her hands shook slightly. Inside the envelope was a
document with an official seal on the letterhead. The words on the page hardly
made sense at first, then realisation began to dawn. It was a legal document
stating that her father had been arrested on charges of theft and fraud and
that there would be a hearing in a few weeks’ time. Julie stared up at Daniel.
“You?” she
whispered.
He nodded,
almost guiltily. “Yes. I hired a PI to track him down. They caught up with him
in
“Oh Daniel.
This is unreal,” she breathed.
“And
there’s something else.”
“No, wait.
I have something I want to say.” Julie put the letter aside and reached for his
hands across the black conveyor. “For months now I’ve regretted not accepting
your proposal. Daniel, I’m sorry. I did want to marry you, and I do now. I just
hope it’s not too late.”
A slow
smile began to spread across Daniel's face and he freed one hand from her
nervous grasp so that he could slide the little black velvet box from his
pocket and place it on the top of the register. “Well,” he said, his blue eyes
dancing merrily. “It’s lucky I brought this along with me then.”
