I have been pondering today how much of the trouble that we cause as individuals is deliberate (an act of will), and how much is ignorance. I am not talking about whether it's excusable or not, but how often are we aware of what we are doing?

"Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Romans 12:14-15.

Recently I had an unexpected meeting with someone who appears to deliberately attack me. As usual I came away from that meeting angry at the injustice of these attacks. I began to ask this question - how much of what she says and does is deliberate? I asked God and got this question in return. "Why are you asking?"

Because I am looking for an excuse to hate her and say nasty snide things in return ... that's the honest answer. I'm so sorry Lord.

The truth is that we often don't know the harm we do. We are often subject to lies and react to other people in ways that are unjustified. We all do it. I can remember times when God has had to set me straight.

On the flipside I know many lovely people who are completely unaware of the goodness and blessing that they bring. A kind or encouraging word has often meant more to me than the giver ever anticipated, and they will never know. Some people just bring peace and life with them, and we can praise God for that.

God did answer my question, just not the way I hoped. He gave me Romans 12:14. I'm not meant to know why this person does what they do. I must pray and bless like Jesus did on the cross, and still does.

And I have to trust in God's justice and mercy that is always at work. God does not excuse our wrongness, deliberate or ignorant. But He pays for it and takes it away and uses it for good. So I have to trust Him, as much with my own sins as with the sins of others. It is not my place to judge them or myself. My role is to choose to love both them and me and do my best to bless, no matter what.